Welcome to the new season !!

 

Almost three years ago, I met her at a time least expected. Braces, specs and a smile any human would envy of.  Recollecting these memories in itself is compelling me to smile amidst some tears honoring her. As I sit down to embrace a new season as her name means, I find myself in despair and chaos struggling to organize my life. Never in my life had I ever thought that the last coffee (with some leg fight under the table!) we had would be something I would strive to relive ever again. 

Five years. Five long years. It was in 2016 I wrote down my feelings here to appreciate someone whom I had crossed path with, never to meet again.  I had never imagined I would be here again in 2021 to appreciate someone who gave meaning to my life. TBH, I am unaware if we can ever meet to never separate again and holding our hands till we can. For now, I hope my utopian dream will come true. Maybe because it is the best thing to have?

Dear you, I am no less than a desperate kid. A kid who always seeks her mother’s love, care and affection. For me, you were a guardian who always stood aside to hold hands my hand as my steps weakened. From the bottom of my heart, I want to let you know that your sacrifice and dedication is something I will carry until the day this world bids farewell for my last journey. I promise! You have been a family away from a family.

And……

 I am sorry. Today I admit my mistakes. I have been the worst partner someone can ever have. A partner so stubborn to break his comfort zone that he would ruin all his relationship dishonoring better-half. I am sorry! Sorry because as a child I have had a different orientation. A child perceives things as he sees making it the ultimate reality of his life that he can’t escape from. After your departure, I realize life means respecting our differences so that we can never go different. This has been the biggest learning for me in the last 5 years. Thank you! Thank you for showing me how broad and beautiful this world can be.

Here again I dedicate these lines in your honor, for your sacrifice and support that no human can give me…

  “…..I know things have changed dramatically but my feelings for her are stagnant. Nothing like I didn’t try to move on regarding her. I tried a couple of times but every time I tried her memories went on captivating me within. The thing is I miss her even after I know I have been like a spoiled kid of a well-hearted mother. I still smile looking at our snaps, close my eyes and make a throwback to the times we were together holding each other’s hand down the road. It makes me more and more nostalgic even after you say there's nothing more left between us except our memories and my feelings for you. Yes, I still miss your hands, your company and the ultimate you!!” 

You have been a wonderful partner and you are always. And most importantly, growing up with you has been a blessing for me. I have learned to love, get matured and value someone’s presence in life. I still miss you! I hope this new weather will be a spring for our life we have always dreamed of. I believe there’s nothing I can’t fix for you to live this life with you.